Clashing Forces
by miktokki
Summary: Requiem spoilers. I decided to write the fight between Alex and Julian in Alex's POV. More info inside.


**A/N: So I just recently finished the Delirium series and thought I would write this little snippet of Requiem in Alex's POV...I'm thinking of writing the whole book from Alex's perspective but I'm not entirely sure. **

**But, I hope you enjoy this^^ R & R?**

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Almost right as we reached the safe house Lena fell asleep. Seeing her curled up, and her face relaxed with sleep made her look vulnerable. The girls are all huddle together speaking quietly. Coral is a little ways from the group and looking pale. A bucket is placed next to her just in case she needs it. Almost right after Lena fell asleep, Coral burst out the door to vomit in the bushes. Concussion.

The guys are all laughing loudly, passing around the whiskey. I've stopped taking sips after the first couple, but Julian is still going at it with small sips. I study him from where I'm sitting and notice how his eyes are aglow with the new attention and alcohol. We've had a simple dinner of beans rice and nuts but I barely touched mine.

I've realized that no one as taken the time to get blankets, so I get up and start to hunt some down. They're easy to find, stacked in a hallway closet. I pick a few up and transfer them into the living room. Then I go back and get the rest. I place the blankets together against the wall but grab one.

Quietly, as not to wake her, I place a blanket on top of Lena. When I turn around the rejoin the group, I notice instantly that Julian is watching me. His eyes holding curiosity and realization, as if wondering why he didn't think to give her a blanket.

I look away from him and sit back down.

Eventually everyone starts to go to bed. We all claim separate cots and surprisingly Coral takes the one next to Lena. She pulls the bucket next to her cot and then falls asleep instantly. Hunter and Bram go into the next room to take the first look out. Once everyone sets into sleep, I stare up at the dark ceiling blankly.

After a while, I hear Raven and Tack get up and exchange a few words with Hunter before leaving the house. Almost right after they leave, another body gets up and soon there is a dark silhouette above me. Instantly I know it's Julian.

"Can we talk?" He whispers. Instead of answering I sit up and quickly tie up my shoes. Then we walk into the next room.

"Where you guys going?" Bram asks curiously.

"Julian wanted to learn to fight," I lie easily. "Said I'd give him a few pointers."

They motion for us to continue on and we exit out the front door. Silently we walk until we reach a clearing in the woods that used to be a parking lot.

"Alright," I say. "What do you need to talk about?"

I cross my arms and stare at him blankly. He stands there for a moment looking up at the stars.

"Well?" I'm getting impatient.

"You still love her." He finally turns to look at me. I hide my surprise at the topic.

Instead I scoff. "What gives you that idea?"

He changes the topic. "What did you mean, when you told me not to believe her?" My memory flashes back to the day I saw Lena and Julian together for the first time. I had caught the tail end of their conversation and had acted out without realizing it. What _did_ I mean when I had said that? That was also the moment I decided to try and let her go.

Julian continues. "If you do still love her, let me tell you right now, that you won't get her back."

I'm stunned for a moment. The kind Julian I had observed with Lena isn't here right now.

"Listen," I start. "You have nothing to worry about. Lena's a thing of my past. I hope you guys have a happy life together." Maybe if I say it enough it'll be true. _I don't love her anymore. I don't love her anymore._

"We both know you're sprouting bullshit." He starts to walk forward, closing the distant between us. "You still love her, and Coral is just a distraction. We both know that you should just pack your things and leave." Suddenly a flash of anger pulses through me and before I know it Julian is gripping his bloody nose. He had shouted in surprise and for a moment the shout echoes through the air before going silent.

Suddenly the bushes are rustling and Lena breaks through the shrubs. She takes in the scene in shock. Her eyes land on Julian and her eyes widen. "Julian!" She starts towards him but Julian keeps his eyes on me.

"I'm okay, Lena," he replies. Gently, he pushes away the hand Lena placed on his chest. Her nose scrunches slightly, and I can only guess she can smell some alcohol on him. Suddenly she whirls on me. Her brown eyes blazing with anger.

"What the _hell_ did you do?" I allow myself a quick look at her but then have to flick my eyes away before I start to stare.

Keeping my voice neutral, I answer, "It was an accident. I swung too high."

"Bullshit." She spits out and then turns back to Julian. A stab of jealousy runs through me as I watch them together. "Come on," she says softly. "Let's go inside. We'll clean you up."

Julian moves his hand from his face and wipes the blood on his mouth away with his shirt. His eyes are still zeroed in on me. "No way. We were just getting started. Weren't we, Alex?" I can tell by Lena's clueless look she doesn't understand the undertone of his words. I have to hold back a sigh and eye roll at his attitude.

"Julian-" Lena starts to plead but I cut her off.

"Lena's right. It's late. We can barely see anything out here. We can pick up again tomorrow." I try to keep my tone light and nonchalant.

"No time like the present." Julian's trying to mimic my light tone, but even now Lena can recognize the hidden anger to his voice. There is a long silence, electric and dangerous. Finally Lena can't take it and grabs Julian's wrist.

"Please, Julian." He shakes her off as if she's just a fly. That motion is enough to piss me off. Lena was not something to shake off. The atmosphere between got even worse and we stared each other down. I tried to take calming breathes. "_Alex._"

Lena's tone is enough to shock me back to reality. I look over at her, not able to hide my shock at her tone. I knew that Lena had changed, the Wilds can do that to a person, but in that one moment, I could see the hardness in her eyes that was never there before. That's when I realize it is partly my fault. If I had just let her get her procedure and live a life with her matched partner, she would be safe. A zombie maybe, but safe. But I also know that I shouldn't have been ignoring her for this long.

I can tell by her small falter in facade that she could see the twinge of regret on my face. She inhales deeply as if she'd been holding her breath. I blink and the tension slowly ebbs away.

"Not tonight," I say curtly and begin to turn away. Before I can push past the bushes, a sudden force knocks me forward. _Julian._ Anger once again pulses through me and we are going at it. My vision tunnels and suddenly all Julian is to me is a threat. I have to beat him.

I am vaguely aware of Lena shouting something, but its too late. Julian wants to fight? Fine.

At one point Julian is able to gain the upper hand and swings a punch at my face. I spit at him and push a hand into his jaw to get him off me. I climb on top of him and swing down two hard punches. I hear a crunch and can't stop the small flash of satisfaction.

I am completely overtaken by anger. Flashes of memories from the Crypts rise up and adds to the fuel. But before I can hit Julian again, strong hands are pulling me away from him.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" A deep voice shouts. Tack.

My vision clears and I see Lena, tears streaming down her face, break away from Raven and run to Julian. He tries to sit up and Lena pushes him back down gently. "Hey. Hey, take it easy."

"What _happened_?" Tack shouts. I break away from Tack and slowly start to realize what I've done. I can feel my hands at me sides, limp. Lena stands up and suddenly she's in front of me, anger tensing her posture. Her fingers twitch as if she could strangle me. But when she speaks her voice is low.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I-I'm sorry." My voice is a whisper as I shake my head slowly. "I didn't mean...I don't know what happened. I'm sorry, Lena." She studies my pleading face and I see a slight softening. Slowly I step forward. "Lena."

She looks away. I stare at her willing her to look back at me. Guilt for everything is radiating off me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to make sure Raven and Tack can't hear me. "I'm sorry for everything." Before I can give anymore away, I spin and push into the woods.

For who knows how long, I wander the woods. Memories of me and Lena coming crashing back. How I wanted so badly for things to go back to how they were. But I knew, and I knew Lena knew, that things couldn't go back to how they were.

Eventually I find myself back at the safe house, and sneak in, grateful that everyone is asleep. Coral is sitting up and her eyes meet mine. Julian's words come back to me and I have to admit that he was right. Coral was just a distraction. And maybe I do need to leave.

Her eyes flash with understanding and she turns around, lying down again. Her back is to me and I know she's letting me go. I take a deep breath and pack my things. Before I leave I scribble a quick note and stick it under Lena's shoe.

Slowly and quietly, I sneak back out the house.

_Forgive me, Lena._


End file.
